Lined up straight outside the gym
Just one thought – pick me, not him!
(School’s okay, but without a doubt
I live to have a kick-about!)
Steve and Ed take their places
Staring hard at our faces
Don’t pick Pete! He’s two left feet!
(Though in goal he’s tough to beat)
Not Raj Brown! He’s such a clown!
Always fooling all around.
Jamie ‘Jamus’! His dad’s famous…
Pity he’s an ignoramus
(I’m not that big and not that fast
Please don’t tell me I’ll be last)
Big Bosh Brendan tackles hard
Leaves limbs strewn across the yard
Next picked out is Billy the Boot –
He’s a brute of ill repute
Anthony Rose, bogey nose!
But he’s missing two left toes!
Smelly Si and Limpy Lee.
What about me? What about me!
Evan Bevan? Willy Nilly?
This is all just getting silly!
Come on Steve! And c’mon Ed!
Time for you to use your head!
Pavel’s next… Just one to go…
Eeny. Meeny. Miney. Moe
Yes! It’s me. I won’t let you down!
I’ll give this lot the runaround.
I get the ball and dribble away…
Till Brendan hacks my legs astray
He passes right, to Billy’s Boot
It’s only going down one route
He blasts it high, he blasts it hard
It flies at speed across the yard
It keeps on speeding to the net
Before my team can break a sweat.
All eyes turn to me, in blame.
I hang my head.
I hate this game.