The keyboard’s covered in crumbs,
On the desk, a coffee mug ring.
In this age of flexible working,
Hot desking isn’t my thing.
Everything’s open plan
Even the bosses sit among us.
The effect of this on morale
Is obviously humongous…
The back of the chair is broken,
It’s fixed in an uncomfortable place.
The keyboard is sporadically working
Flip-flopping into UPPER CASE.
We can’t so much as open a window
In this air-conditioned box.
And it’s impossible not to hear
When anybody talks.
The phone handset’s covered in germs
From a hundred different lips.
The Enter key is still sticky
From Friday’s fish and chips.
The double-click only works
If you’ve the reactions of Superman.
And I always end the day sweating,
Regardless of how I began.
E-mail’s impossible to send,
The network grinds to a halt.
Now I’ve lost all my shared drives…
Yet I.T. is never at…
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