Last Day of the School Year (poem)

Thirty tiny Santas
Struggle up the street
Loaded down with presents
Sweating in the heat.

Middle-class one-upmanship
Has claimed another thing
An excess of extravagance
Bundled in pink string!

M&S has emptied
Of fancy cakes and wine;
Handfuls of handmade jewellery
Ostentatiously designed;

Bouquets of beautiful flowers;
Diamonds and green gems;
Darling designer dresses,
All with tailored hems;

A personally signed picture,
Of footballer David Beckham;
A weekend at a health retreat,
In regency Cheltenham;

Crystal champagne flutes;
A piece of the Turin Shroud;
Original Oriental carpets;
(Olga looked ever so proud)

Sultry, silken scarves;
A fine, fake, fox-fur coat;
Some early designs by da Vinci…
And little Susie with a SPEEDBOAT!

So if you’re looking for a bargain,
Get onto ebay tonight.
It wasn’t like this in my day,
But for some the price’ll be right!

Couldn’t resist this picture, courtesy of


8 thoughts on “Last Day of the School Year (poem)

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