Those familiar longing pangs, felt in the gut, the heart, rattling the bars. The body’s wants physical, tangible, pulling. An itch that must be scratched. The devil’s dance.
I find a quiet corner, the better to savour the warmth of ritual, the tap-tap foreplay, all anticipation.
Sharp scratch. The needle. The skin. The darkness slips in.
This was written for day 3 of Writing 201: Poetry, using the prompts of skin/ prose poetry/ internal rhyme. This is well beyond my comfort zone, so any feedback welcome 🙂
A Certain Point of View 
That paints a picture in your head.I like it!:)
This is mine,tell me what you think:)
https://sabahbatul786.wordpress.com/2015/10/07/a-tattoo-on-her-skin/
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Thank you – will check it out 🙂
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ok:)
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very expressive, one can almost feel the point of the needle
good work. I know what you mean about being out of your comfort zone…I read the instructions for the days poem and say “huh?” and then just jump in and write something…even if its bad. 🙂
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We need the freedom to fail if we’re going to learn anything… let’s hope it’s fun along the way too 🙂
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indeed, half the fun of poetry is filling in words in an appropriate form. I don’t think of it as failure, just that sometimes the words fall flat. I wait to post until I have something that I like, if it doesn’t “ring” when I read it outloud it needs changes. 🙂
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Wonderfully dark 🙂
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The “dinosaurs, aliens, pants and poo” poem from earlier is probably more me… Maybe I should split the difference and write some poems about life insurance
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Good brevity prose poem. My favorite line is the last. 🙂
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Thanks Susan – that’s where it started for me 🙂
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Well done. I read it through several times, enjoying the rhythm. Beautifully dangerous.
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Thank you, that’s a lovely compliment 🙂
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It was really visual for me, and an enjoyable read.
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Thank you, glad you liked it 🙂
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Wow! Well Al, I think you should write out of your comfort zone more often! This is thought provoking, dark, the “devil’s dance” indeed. And you’ve added sounds to the visual: tap tap, rattling, sibilant “sharp scratch”. Excellent! You’ve described this person…..and the act……and the feeling.
Looking forward to seeing more of your work in Writing 201!
Interesting that we both wrote a “character study” of sorts with this prose assignment.
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Thanks Lillian – off now to check yours out too! 🙂
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Hmm…not in my comfort zone either. It’s creepy and full of tension though so if that’s the effect you’re looking for, you’re doing it right!
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Thanks Teresa… those were the aims, along with an element of a form of “love”. I’m not planning a radical change of my style in the long run 🙂
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I enjoy what you write, no matter what…but some more than others, I will admit. 😉
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It’s the same for me writing them! 🙂
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As someone who has been clean and sober for nigh on a decade… you rocked this as though you had been there yourself! Bravo!!
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I meant to say that as I am someone who… never meaning to imply that you ever walked such a hideous path yourself… I was not into the needle but I have lost many who were.
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No need to clarify – I understand 🙂 I have been spared any personal insight into this topic, so this was just me trying to put myself into that particular mindset. And well done on staying sober! 🙂
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Cool. Yes, it’s a very different world but I like it here and I am ever so grateful for each new day!
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Well done poem…though I got caught up in what sounded like scary subject matter.
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Thanks… Guess that means this is a “success” then! 🙂
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Guess so.
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Nice rythm and very evocative!
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Thank you!
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