Welcome to Day One of your Essential Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.
We all know it’s coming – there’s no point in pretending otherwise. Some have even interpreted the rise of Donald Trump as a herald of the end of days (either that, or a reaction of those feeling disenfranchised by the current status quo against the political classes’ refusal to engage with the issues as they see them, and rallying behind a figure they perceive to be successful, powerful, and speaking their language… or something like that).
Point is, the end is coming, you gotta be prepared, and you ain’t gonna have time to memorise a whole bunch of stuff when it happens.
You need a short guide to surviving the rise of the undead, covering you from A to Z.
You need… Haiku of the Dead.
Apocalypse NOW!
Better run; find food; shelter:
The dead have risen!
Achieve survival.
Human race depends on you.
Don’t let people down…
“You wrote this as part of a month-long challenge? What?! Is this an April Fools joke?”
Throughout April, I will be joining the A to Z Challenge, posting six days a week to cover each letter of the alphabet… even that annoying “X”… For my theme, I have gone down the well-trodden, stereotypical, bit-of-a-cliché -really path of zombie survival tips… in haiku.
With tongue firmly in cheek, I hope you will join me for the month, and beyond 🙂
There are literally hundreds of blogs participating – over 1500 in fact. I will be doing my best to check out as many of these as possible. You can too via this link: http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/a-z-challenge-sign-up-list-2016.html
Great start good luck for the rest of the month ☺
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Thanks Richard… and now the stress of wondering what on earth I’m going to write next week! (I’ve got tomorrow’s prepped, but that’s it!) 🙂
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That’s a great start 🙂
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Thanks Srivi. 25 to go! 🙂
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Yup 🙂
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Reblogged this on Graeme Sandford and commented:
You need Al’s Coco-Pops guide to surviving Dombie & Son (and other Dicken’s Titles) G:)
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Hmm Dickensian zombies you say… there’s a thought… 🙂
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Not sure what it is about ‘achieve survival’ that made me laugh haha. Goodluck with the next 25!
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Hey, if even the filler lines make you laugh, I’m going to do really well this month! 😉
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I actually worked out why it was funny just after posting the comment- it reminded me of the lost in translation phrases on t-shirts and stationary etc – with ‘achieve survival’ being an interpretation of ‘stay alive’ haha. Bring on the other zombie tips! Hope they can double as general life, health, beauty tips too!
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Ooh, I hadn’t thought of that… beauty tips for a zombie world… 🙂 (hastily amending today’s planned post…)
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I can’t wait to read i! Ooh- and dating tips too! 👥😂
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Stop giving me (great) ideas! 😀
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You might thank me when it comes to Q, V or X…:)
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True! Anything you have on those, throw it in!
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Funny, Al, nicely done!
Diane from
LadiesWhoLunchReviews,etc
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Thanks Diane! 😀
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Great first one, Al. Enjoy writing the other 25. I know I will enjoy reading them. 🙂
Liesbet @ Roaming About – A Life Less Ordinary
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It’s a relief to be under way! Am looking forward to checking out everyone else’s A to Z-ing. Am wondering if I can check out all 1500 in a month… 50 a day for a month… hmm 🙂
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I thought I ought to do a little zombie haiku of my own:
Aarrr haurr uh ahh-raghhh
Uhrahhaa graahh a-hurraghh
Mmmnarghhh bluhhh gahrahhgg!
🙂
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I look forward to another 25 of those this month 😉
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Oh bum.
This haiku-in-zombie lark isn’t as easy as it looks (having to count syllables and decide if Mmmnarghhh is one or two; it’s two, if you’re interested).
Of course, I can just change the first letter of the first word each time…
😉
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I think you wandered too far from the well-trodden path of “grr… arrg” and are now paying the price 😉
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Ah yes, as spoken over the Mutant Enemy logo at the end of Agents of SHIELD.
But can’t zombies have their own literature? Or would they just eat it?
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Now I want to write a little zombie two-hander…
“‘Ere, Frank, you read this Shakespeare? Classic littriter, this.”
“Grr… Arrg”
“I don’t know why I bother…”
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Hmm, now I’m thinking about a scene involving a pedantic English teacher and a classroom full of zombie pupils. Apart from the vague temptation they have to eat brains, the teacher fails to notice any difference due to the listless slumped postures and incomprehensible mumbling. 😉
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Future analysts? 🙂
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Fantastic start! I feel better prepared already!
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More practical advice coming your way, every day! Pin it to the fridge for Z-Day 🙂
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😃
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I can tell I’m really going to enjoy reading these – good luck! 🙂
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Thanks Ruth – you too! 🙂
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Here’s a thought… make them all begin with A! A-a, A-b, A-c where I’m going with this? Just a thought..
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A-…no (the grammar pedant in me wouldn’t allow “a-e”, or “a-i”, for example)
I think the three-pointed challenge of alphabet, PLUS haiku, PLUS zombies, is plenty for me! 🙂
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I am so looking forward to this foray into zombie haiku, Al, and I’ll stock up on a few of your tips for election day. 🙂
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At the risk of “spoilers”, there may or may not be a preamble every day, and it may or may not be political… 😉
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It’s all good 🙂
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Well then, you adventurous animal, I support your tenacity and applaud your efforts (paying it forward)
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Hey you know me, I’ll probably throw in additional complications as the month goes on!
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Well, seeing as how there are only 26 letters in the alphabet and there are 30 days in April, I think you are entitled to 4 passes… use them wisely
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We get Sundays off for good behaviour 😉
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Wouldn’t miss it!
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I was banking on it! 🙂
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What’s the exchange rate at the moment? Not sure you’d come out ahead
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How does one weigh a connection? I always feel in debt… 🙂
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Awww, YOU are worth your weight in gold my friend
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❤
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Haha! Love it!
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🙂
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FUN!!!!
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Thanks Juli… I think so, but it’s nice to have others confirm it! 🙂
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Reblogged this on An Array Of Blogs.
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Haha! You are bonkers – I’d forgotten that. How wonderful. I’m hoping you’ll be turning twonk Trump into a zombie at some point during this A-Z… Liz http://www.lizbrownleepoet.com
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There’s a cover quote in the making! If only I had better photoshop skills… Thanks Liz 🙂
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I thought that was a fantastic start to the challenge, Al! I can’t wait for the rest of them! 🙂
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Thanks Judy… I’ll have to get writing them soon!
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Yes, it is good to stay on top of it! 🙂
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You know I’ll be here to see what you’ve dredged from the dead! 😆
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I’ll put the soppy love poetry on hold for a while, just for you! 😉
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Heh! You’re a real pal! 😄
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I can step up when needed 🙂
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LOL!
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Oh dear!! what a start talking about the END….very creative!
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Thank you… I hope no one will read this and make notes, thinking “hmm must buy more anti-zombie pills”… 🙂
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Love it! I have a soft spot for zombies (mostly because my husband has an obsession with zombies) so this will be very fun to follow along 🙂
Tracy (Black Boots, Long Legs)
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Feel free to share this with hubby too 🙂 Welcome aboard, Tracy!
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Zombies, haiku, and the occasional political comment? Sign me up!
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I can’t believe no one’s ever put them together before! 🙂
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Great start to what promises to be an interesting month!
Keith Channing A-Zing from http://keithkreates.com
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Thanks Keith – I hope so!
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So cool! I like Zombie stuff, I like your Haiku, and I will enjoy reading your A/Z series of posts! 🙂
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Thank you! Hope you enjoy them 🙂
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This is awesome! I am following the zombies!
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Thanks Brookzie! Glad to have you along 🙂
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Thank you!
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Love this idea. The Word needs more information about the Zombie Apocalypse.
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Stick around… more coming up 🙂
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I love this idea! Brilliant! Clever poetry!
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Thank you, Wench! 🙂
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