Welcome to Day Three of your Essential Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.
We all know it’s coming – there’s no point in pretending otherwise. Some have even interpreted the refusal to believe in global warming as a herald of the end of days (either that, or large portions of the population are susceptible to the machinations and propaganda of wealthy, vested interests in perpetuating the (profitable-for-them) status quo, relying on this portion of the populace reacting like proverbial frogs in a pan of water being heated slowly on the hob… or something like that).
Point is, the end is coming, you gotta be prepared, and you ain’t gonna have time to memorise a whole bunch of stuff when it happens.
You need a short guide to surviving the rise of the undead, covering you from A to Z…
You need… Haiku of the Dead.
Look on the bright side!
No need for daily commute,
Living in your car…
Fuel perishes fast,
And will be used up quickly.
Find a bicycle.
Cannibalism
May seem a tempting option
When all food runs out
Resist at all costs,
Protect your humanity
By respecting theirs.
Hang onto your hope,
But don’t hold out for a cure.
Focus on living.
“You wrote this as part of a month-long challenge? What?!”
Throughout April, I will be joining the A to Z Challenge, posting six days a week to cover each letter of the alphabet… even that annoying “X”… For my theme, I have gone down the well-trodden, stereotypical, bit-of-a-cliché -really path of zombie survival tips… in haiku.
With tongue firmly in cheek, I hope you will join me for the month, and beyond 🙂
There are hundreds of blogs participating – over 1900 in fact. I will be doing my best to check out as many of these as possible. You can too via this link: http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/a-z-challenge-sign-up-list-2016.html
I’m trying to decide whether or not having a little extra meat on your bones is a good thing. If you avoid the zombies you have fat to burn, but then again you become a more attractive food option! 😱
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I think any extra meat on those bones would soon disappear once the cookies run out… and if you look that attractive a food option, maybe you need to re-think your apocalypse survival buddies? 🙂
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😂😂😂
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Yeah, for us chubby gals, does this mean we are more likely to be delectable Zombie fare? Okay, we’re pressing on here, right? C is for chunky cheeks for flesh eating fans… lol
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Chunky cheeks wear off
Soon after apocalypse:
Zombie cardio!
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ROTFLMCCO
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Took me a while to get that … love it! 😀
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Me too! :p-
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Working the theme well, Ali. I can’t get anywhere with Haiku. Truth be told, I don’t understand the form.
Keith Channing A-Zing from http://keithkreates.com
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Thanks Keith. It took me a while to get used to haiku, then it just stuck… I wouldn’t treat these as classic examples of the form though!
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Sounds like me and Limericks. Classic or not, I’m enjoying what you’re doing this month.
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Thanks Keith 🙂
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As a vegetarian, if I become a Zombie, will have still have the urge for braaaaains, or will I be calling out for graaaaains instead?
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Great comment! 😀
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Great haiku. The comments are hysterical. I have to go catch up on the “B” advice.
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It’s really uplifting to be the catalyst to bring together so many different points of view… on surviving the zombie uprising!
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Okay, ROTFLMCCO, too!
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So, that’s a “thing” now then? 🙂
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I think it will catch on, lol!
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Seems to be!
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I’m all for no commute, no fuel needed, no cannibalism and finding your own cure for happy living, and surviving… I would eat leaves, twigs and insects before I eat human flash (I;d like to think)
Liesbet @ Roaming About – A Life Less Ordinary
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I think most people would say that… you just hope you’re never tested! 🙂
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HaHA! I Think I would keep a zombie going for quite some time, but I might be a bit chewy with all my blubber!
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Maybe we could spin it as “doing our bit to help the skinny people run off!”
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Hi Al
C is for cannibalism. Cute:)
Loved your haiku, as always.
I also like how your zombie holds the letter of the day. Very cool.
Thanks for sharing.
Best Wishes
Jo-Ann Carson
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My pleasure. Thanks Jo-Ann 🙂
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Zombie apocalypse? I kind of live it, without the zombies-eat-brains part. I teach middle school.
*scary music playing in the background*
Such a fun series, Al. Thanks for the smiles. And Happy A to Z.
Laura
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Ha ha, Laura – when the zombies rise, you can enjoy a bit of peace and quiet then! 🙂
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Glad to know there’s such a great guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. I’ll be back to get your daily poetic suggestions.
stopping by as part of Pam’s Unconventional Alliance on the a-to-zchallenge.com
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Thank you! I love your group name – “Pam’s Unconventional Alliance”. Right up my street! 🙂
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Someone else talked about cannibalism on their A to Z post today as well. I was all set to have my lunch, when I was kind of put off. Then, after a suitable break to get the thought of cannibalism out of my head, I set out to have some lunch, but then I read your haiku. This is turning out to be an excellent way to shed weight. And the upside of that is that I’ll be of less interest to the zombies. They’ll be looking for fleshier people to dine on.
Cheers – Ellen | http://thecynicalsailor.blogspot.com/2016/04/c-is-for-catamaran-nancy-drew.html
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There’s always a bright side! Thanks Ellen 🙂
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*chuckle* More good zombie-pocalyps advice! 😆
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😃
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