What’s in a (job) name?

I’ve recently had to leave my job in “challenging” circumstances, and am urgently trying to find another job to pay the bills, keep the house, put clothes on the kids backs… you know, the usual curveballs that life throws in.

While I’ve been searching, I’ve come across some great job titles that I wanted to share with you, some of which may be commonly used without even thinking about them. These cover a variety of roles in society – to be very clear, it is only the title I am mocking! (And that’s without getting into the almost euphemistic nature of some roles – the worst locally being “public realm operative”. I’ll buy an ebook off anyone who can guess what that one really is!)

Web Developer – to help out Spiderman?

Domestic Violence Co-ordinator – because the only thing worse than domestic abuse, is the fact that it happens in an uncoordinated way

Clinical Fellow – well, I’ve always been a fairly clinical sort of chap

Kitchen Assistant – how much help can one kitchen need?

Practice Manager – practicing until the day they’ll be a real manager

Branch Administrator – there’s a lot of paperwork in those trees

Bank Chaplain – so those who’re refused loans have someone to pray with

Independent Chair – all those other ones are so needy

Patient Co-ordinator – the impatient need not apply

Penetration Tester … bet this isn’t as interesting as it is in my head!

Have you come across any unintentionally hilarious job titles? And what do you think a public realm operative does??

 

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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/clement127/13661779374

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90 thoughts on “What’s in a (job) name?

  1. Good thing I wasn’t drinking, I’d have spit my mouthful at the last one!
    Is public realm operative someone who operates as assistant to a King (are they anything *but* public?)?
    Or is it another way of saying civil servant? Or communication specialist?
    Hmmm… looking forward to learning the answer!

    Good luck on the job hunt. I pray (in my witchy way) that the perfect job comes your way.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Of course, there’s also the organisation that we’ve both worked for (which had a Domestic Violence Co-ordinator): The Crime And Drugs Partnership. Kind of like SPECTRE, but in the public sector and with less funding. The gadgets were a bit disappointing, but I did get a laser pointer for my presentations.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bank Chaplain, I think I could dig that.
    I read that the rectal thermometers that Johnson and Johnson makes are all personally tested and sterilized before packaging…..can you imagine the interview process for that one?

    Liked by 1 person

        • I can see if your job was to fix benches in the street, public playgrounds, etc that you could have a very similar title, and be rightly proud of your work.

          One of my previous job titles was the subject of a rant in one of the tabloid newspapers about “non-jobs” in the public sector. I took some pride in that (the commentator was a horrible, despicable individual anyway)!

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I am curious about the public realm operative. A nicer sounding word for politician? With the bad rep they have (usually deserved), they might need a better job term. For the current project I am working on, I am a profanity term judge. Quite interesting as well…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Public Realm Operative: A person that operates on people in a kingdom (ie. Castle) that is open to the public (for a nominal entry fee) or televised (for a much larger sum of money)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hmm… Penetration Tester. I am also currently unemployed…

    Public Realm Operative…. something to do with the public… People? Nah. Public spaces? Oh, is it like a city planner? Or a “keep our town beautiful” kind of thing? Oh… I know… it’s someone who must maintain public bathrooms! Ew. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. These are great. Definitely curious now about Public Realm Operative. Makes me think of cabbies here. The definitely got an operation going on – operation ‘how long can I drag this ride out!’

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I think public realm operator is a PR person or an insurgent rabble rouser. One of those definitely 🙂
    I hope the job search turns up something profitable, enjoyable, and with a title that makes you laugh every time you’re introduced!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. A Public Realm Operative makes sure that all the sprinklers in a park are up and running on a timer. I don’t know! It’s great that you keep a good sense of humor during hard times. If being a poet paid well you’d be rich. 🙂 All the best!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Great list Al, I am convinced that you are a man who can, quite literally, make any situation humorous. Several years ago, while searching Employment ads in the local paper, I came across an ad where they wanted a “Man: With Dog”. The job description consisted of going to a certain field, once or twice a day at set times, with said dog, for the sole purpose of chasing geese away. Great for a retiree with a lot of time on their hands perhaps? I laughed about that one for a looong time.
    Good luck, I know the right position will jump out, and bite you right in the ass. I’ll also hope that it doesn’t hurt too badly. Xox 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Al, a great selection here and I’m sure you’ll find an array of more! 😀 I think a sense of humour is vital during such difficult times and I’m sorry the curveball that’s headed your way. Hope something turns up soon for you. Times are tough out there and I know a few friends going through the same – laughing is what’s keeping everyone sane.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Zoe… it does get addictive. I realised at one point I’d stopped looking for likely jobs and was just scrolling through, searching for more of these gems!

      Like

  12. Pingback: My resumé… in limericks | A Certain Point of View

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