My resumé… in limericks

In my post about funny job names on Friday (https://altheauthor.wordpress.com/2016/05/13/whats-in-a-job-name/), my friend Elizabeth made this comment: “You should write your entire resumé in limericks. They will be blown-away by your wordage skills, or possibly think you are completely insane.”

Guess what I’ve done… Vote for (a) blown away, or (b) insanity, below!

(Incidentally, every word of this is true, save for some artistic licence with the name of a major toy retailer)

In my teens, I went with the flow
Following where the winds did blow
From Video Vision
To Geoffrey’s Toy Mission
And ended up calling bingo!

At uni I studied the law
By the end, couldn’t take any more
Feeling a fool
I worked for a school
But it paid pennies, leaving me poor

I temped for a bit – that’s life
Working through everyday strife
But the weirdest one
When all’s said and done
Was being managed and paid by my wife!

A job came up with the cops
I wasn’t sure I had the chops.
The first choice said no,
The second deported home
So I pulled out the analysis stops!

I spent ten years looking at crime
Having a whale of a time
But the budget was slit
Redundancy hit
And I was cut down in my prime

After four months of searching in vain,
I got back on the working train
A similar role
To before the dole
But short contracts proved a right pain

I scrabbled and eked out a post
To last up to three years, at most
Then a new boss came in
Upset everything:
I moved on before I was toast

I transferred to another team
And for a time it went like a dream
Then they wanted me gone
My dreams all went wrong
I quit, but wanted to scream

So here I am talking to you
Wondering what on earth I can do
To pay the bills,
No drama, no frills,
And not end the day feeling blue!

Freedom

Freedom

Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/eulothg/4667459067

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76 thoughts on “My resumé… in limericks

  1. A – all the way!!

    There once was a fine man named Al
    His sharp tongue could land him in jail!
    Smart as a whip
    Slinging skills on his hip
    Much talent awaits, behind papered veil

    See? I knew it would be amazing. Now if I could only get you a job worthy of your talents…ugh. I hate that you’re going through this struggle. I am glad you always have your humor, it makes even the darkest days a little brighter! Bravo!!!! Xoxo – throws roses – standing ovation ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Al

    Life is full of ups and downs
    With idiots, know-alls & clowns
    When all you want in life
    Is little trouble or strife
    And not ending the day full of frowns.

    Hoping things work out for you soon. Terrific post and I vote: A
    Annika

    Liked by 2 people

  3. So Al you are finally free (of wankers, incompetents, fools and other idiots that usually dominate WORK)
    and looking at life just like me
    Can you turn round your life
    and be re-hired by the wife
    to write poetry under a tree

    *For true poetic considerations please delete the bracket for your book of poems.

    Good luck Al in your pursuit of the next stage.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Denis… it’s only the money side of things that bothers me. I’ve had more than my share of all those types at work in recent years, that’s for sure!

      Like

  4. How about becoming a paid limerick writer? I’m sure you have not thought about that yet! I do assume there is probably nothing like a paid limerick writer, so… good luck with the job search, Al!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Some people do it… I’ve no idea if they make any sort of money out of it though! It’s on my list of things to sort, believe it or not 🙂 Not just limericks, but all types of poetry

      Liked by 1 person

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