My resumé… in limericks

In my post about funny job names on Friday (https://altheauthor.wordpress.com/2016/05/13/whats-in-a-job-name/), my friend Elizabeth made this comment: “You should write your entire resumé in limericks. They will be blown-away by your wordage skills, or possibly think you are completely insane.”

Guess what I’ve done… Vote for (a) blown away, or (b) insanity, below!

(Incidentally, every word of this is true, save for some artistic licence with the name of a major toy retailer)

In my teens, I went with the flow
Following where the winds did blow
From Video Vision
To Geoffrey’s Toy Mission
And ended up calling bingo!

At uni I studied the law
By the end, couldn’t take any more
Feeling a fool
I worked for a school
But it paid pennies, leaving me poor

I temped for a bit – that’s life
Working through everyday strife
But the weirdest one
When all’s said and done
Was being managed and paid by my wife!

A job came up with the cops
I wasn’t sure I had the chops.
The first choice said no,
The second deported home
So I pulled out the analysis stops!

I spent ten years looking at crime
Having a whale of a time
But the budget was slit
Redundancy hit
And I was cut down in my prime

After four months of searching in vain,
I got back on the working train
A similar role
To before the dole
But short contracts proved a right pain

I scrabbled and eked out a post
To last up to three years, at most
Then a new boss came in
Upset everything:
I moved on before I was toast

I transferred to another team
And for a time it went like a dream
Then they wanted me gone
My dreams all went wrong
I quit, but wanted to scream

So here I am talking to you
Wondering what on earth I can do
To pay the bills,
No drama, no frills,
And not end the day feeling blue!

Freedom

Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/eulothg/4667459067