Halloween HORROR!

Happy Halloween everyone! The poem below carries a huge health warning…once read, it cannot be unread. The images it will leave you with cannot be wiped (a score of witnesses will testify to this)… If you are easily offended, or have any ounce of self-respect, taste or decency, DO NOT READ ON! You have been warned!

It started as a joke
Then grew into a dare
It *may* have been the alcohol
When I agreed to wear
the mankini

Now, for those who do not know,
A mankini’s quite the thing
(Picture me in a posing pouch
Pulled up tight with bright green string)

My abs are long since absent
The six pack’s more a barrel
And without getting into fat shaming
There’s too much padding in this saddle

the mankini
…It barely hides my wedding tackle
But bares the rest for all
All this hairy flesh, all this…
And an unmanly spread of balls

You see, I’ll never be a swordsman
No Don Juan legendary lover.
If your body’s a lethal weapon,
I’m more like Danny Glover.

But a dare’s a dare and that’s that
You’ve got to live by a code.
Well, you’ve got to tell yourself something
When your ass cheeks are on show…

So, a distinctive Halloween outfit…
But it’s not easy trick or treating
On a cold, dark night in autumn
With cock and balls retreating!

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62 thoughts on “Halloween HORROR!

  1. Oh my god! You are too funny! I think you should post photographic evidence of the evening’s activities! Ahem…. the reading I mean! Is Peter really near enough to come see you? That’s so cool!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahaha! I’ve missed you Al!
    I guess it means I’ve got no ounce of self-respect, taste or decency (well, we were aware of at least the last one, weren’t we? 😉)

    What I would give to be able to hear you perform this!! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, ha, ha! The intro is great! You know, it would have been kinder had you posted the actual picture instead of the statue, because I’m sure it’s not as bad as the image your poem has embedded in my brain! 😮 This is hilarious! I sure missed your poems and sense of humor, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

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