The Morning After the Work Christmas Party

It’s a beautiful morning
Mild and still
Bird singing softly
On my windowsill

But my head is in agony
I’m trying to sleep
SHUT UP! little birdie
Or I’ll tape up your beak!

True story! Drink responsibly, fun lovers 🙂

 

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NaNo – Hell Yeah!

I mentioned on here last week that I’d committed to the NaNoWriMo challenge. For those who don’t know, this is the National Novel Writing Month, where a bunch of writers needing less caffeine in their lives commit to writing 50,000 words of their novel during the month of November.

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My novel stalled at an early stage. I have written (what I think is) a great prologue, and I have (again, what I think is) an original and funny idea, but actually getting my butt in the chair and getting a draft down… a different matter. So, with reckless disregard for my previous lack of writing of any decent word count, I signed up to knuckle down, shape up, get grafting, and all those other metaphors that should grace a reasonable montage sequence at the end of all this.

My aims are twofold.

First, to develop a style of writing where I can turn off the inner editor. I have no ambitions to actually attain the word count target, but if I can stop editing as I go, allow myself the freedom to write in a more stream-of-consciousness style, and GET SOME WORDS DOWN FIRST! then this will be a huge step forward for me. At present, I am such a perfectionist that only poetry and short forms of fiction are reasonable goals. (Quiet at the back – if you think my writing’s bad now, just imagine how much worse it would be without that commitment!) I need to change my style to allow for this expansion into the longer form. Having just re-read this section a half-dozen times, the scale of this challenge is not to be under-estimated…

Second, to instill more discipline about when I write. I have agreed with my wife a timetable for when I’ll be writing. This will include a few hours BIC time every day (with extra time no doubt for planning and plotting… not that I’m much of a plotter), with an extra top-up session at the weekend. On top of a full time job and family commitments, this is not inconsiderable, and I need to get maximum return from that BIC time. This means, adios internet. Bye bye blogging. Piss off poetry… you get the idea. Focus. I’ll be a lean, mean writing machine. I’m just going to have to miss out on catching up on anyone else’s blog for a month, park my own, and hope that the latest cat videos and memes aren’t as cute as they used to be…

So, that’s me. Will it work? Who knows… but I have to try 🙂

See you in December!

 

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Al! Al! Where are you going? I’ve just uploaded another video onto my youtube stream…

Halloween Haiku

Dark Halloween night
Ghosts and goblins roam the earth
Demanding candy

Those grinning terrors
Knock on unsuspecting doors…
TRICK OR TREAT they cry

But they don’t mean that.
Try offering them a TRICK
And see what happens!

 

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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/partymonstrrrr/4003308412

Halloweensie Haiku

I’m honestly not obsessed with spiders, but here’s another Halloween one that includes them… this one gets a little creepy. You’ve been warned! This one was written for a competition at https://susannahill.com/2016/10/27/the-6th-annual-halloweensie-writing-contest-aahhhrrrooooooooo/ using the prompts “spider”, “ghost”, and “moon”, in 100 words or fewer, for an audience of 7-12 year olds. This is aimed at the upper end of that age range, and is exactly 100 words. It’s also written in haiku…

on each Halloween
from moonlit graves they arise;
spiders creep like ghosts

silent, and stealthy
they spread to every corner;
each house in the land

hiding in shadows
laying their foul, secret plans;
fiendishly plotting

no force can resist,
no earthly power defend
against their attack

silver webs are laid
glistening in the moonlight
catching more than flies

marking territory
advertising their presence
raising flags of fright

scuttling noises
scampering and skittering
echo through each room

unexplained breezes
tickling back of your neck;
a kiss from the grave

terror breeds terror…
and that’s the only secret
of the FEAR spiders!

 

 

I’ve decided to rest my favourite “non-scary” spider pic for this one… here’s another friendly (well, not fear-inducing), if rather large, one I found recently at a visit to Rufford Park, Notts. 🙂

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A Halloween poem – deconstructed

Trying to write a scary poem
To get things off my chest.
So many ways to start,
I wonder which is best.

Do I go for ghoulish,
Or something more refined?
Do I make the horror clear,
Or leave it to the mind?

Then there comes the rhyming
Of all those scary creatures.
Zombie? Vampire? No rhymes.
Do I focus on their features?

And how to make things scary,
In the structure of the rhyme?
It’s hard to make the reader jump
When they can guess ahead in time.

Maybe I should back off.
Leave this one to the writers.
Poets are tender lovers
But terrible monster fighters!

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Beware the Chocolate Spiders!

Beware! Beware! Beware!
The haunting time of year!
When chocolate spiders hatch,
Spreading candy fear!

You may think that’s just a costume,
A Halloween disguise
But take a second look:
Count that creature’s eyes!

Don’t think of trick OR treat:
To them it’s all the same!
Weaving caramel webs
Around your window frame…

Lurking in the darkness…
Hiding out of sight…
Then dropping down in front of you
Giving you a FRIGHT!

You yelp and drop your candy;
Sprint off down the street
Those spiders give a cackle
And eat up every treat!

Beware! Beware! Beware!
The chocolate spider scare!

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The Raven and the Pumpkin

The raven with the sleek physique,
Popped the seed into its cheek.
From the seed a pumpkin grew.
The raven coughed it up, and flew
Up, away on broomstick sleek.

It draped itself in night’s mystique,
Searching for the ancient sign –
Golden countenance divine.
Having found this rare antique,
Was carried back within its beak.

The pumpkin, carved to match that face,
Brought living evil to that place.
Pumpkin crept without a creak,
And ate the bird before it shrieked!

So this year to protect your house,
Light a pumpkin candle…

or else!

 

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Haiku – Shift

For this week’s Haiku Horizons challenge, the prompt was “shift”… I thought I’d approach it in a slightly different way…

Things that you should shift:
Mindset, perspective, gear;
Your ass and do it!

This seems a fairly appropriate way to announce that I’ve signed up for NaNoWriMo – the National Novel Writing Month challenge. It runs throughout November, with the aim being to write 50,000 words for your novel over that time. Yep. Fifty thousand. That’s only about 45,000 more than I’ve ever written on any one thing, ever, in my whole life. No problem, right?

I know Meg’s in as well… anyone else dumb brave enough to join us??

 

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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/slackpics/4261060942

The Rhyming Dead… Ice-Cool Daryl

the-walking-dead-should-daryl-dixon-keep-his-rocket-launcher-842012Another one from the vaults, in advance of The Walking Dead returning for Season 7 today… hopefully fun for non-Watchers too! This was written after Daryl got his hands on a rocket launcher… 🙂

Action hero Daryl
Ain’t missing that ‘bow
The boy changed up
Watch that rocket go!

He’s cooler than Beck,
Beyoncé and Dre
He’s cooler than bobsledding
On a silver tray

Daryl’s looking fly
Better clear the room
Bad dudes in his sights
Time to go BOOM!

He’s cooler than Jack Nicholson
On Oscars night
Cooler than a vampire
With a massive overbite

He’s cooler than dinner,
With the Dalai Lama
Or even playing bongos
With Barack Obama

Daryl’s looking fly
Better clear the room
Bad dudes in his sights
Time to go BOOM!

He’s cooler than Marty
On a future hoverboard
Cooler than flying on
The very last Concorde

He’s cooler than Miles Davis
Feeling kind of blue
Cooler than Frozen
(If that film’s for you)

Daryl’s looking fly
Better clear the room
Walkers in his sights
Time to go BOOM!

He’s cooler than James Bond
In a white tuxedo
Or getting ten friends
To hold up a casino

Cooler than Pharrell
Singing “Happy” to my mum
Cooler than Animal
And a big bass drum

You can jet-ski across the ocean
Or hang-glide to the moon
Form a hip-hop barber shop
And release a funky tune

But you’ll never be as cool
As Daryl D. Dixon
He’s infected with cool.
He has a cool affliction!

Daryl’s looking fly
Better clear the room
Got you in his sights
Time to go BOOM!