Postman Pat is Dangerous!

Kids TV is dangerous
It shouldn’t be allowed.
Have you ever watched Postman Pat,
With his helicopter in the clouds?

It seems to get used for everything,
For every cat stuck up a tree,
Or an implausible balloon rescue
Of the hapless PC Selby

And you can guarantee,
That if a magpie takes a shine
To Mrs Goggins’ glasses,
Then WHOOSH – it’s heli-time!

Within the village of Greendale,
There’s only 50 or so,
In a surprisingly diverse microcosm
Of a world some used to know.

But in these times of austerity,
With services cut back,
Shouldn’t we tell the truth
About the real Postman Pat?

Helicopter fuel’s expensive,
And the post people just deliver mail.
I’m all for raising kids’ expectations,
But aren’t we setting them up to fail?