“U is for.. U-Bend!” (poem)

There’s a spider round my U-bend
It’s leggy, black and green
I may not be an expert, but
It’s the biggest one I’ve seen.

I tried to call her Suzy
To make her seem less scary…
It didn’t really work though,
Not when she’s that hairy.

She’s started taking showers,
She’s even claimed my shaver.
Acting like she owns the place,
As if she’s doing US a favour

We tried to co-exist
And live happily together.
But now she’s got to go,
However cold the weather!