Star Wars Deleted Scene Rap Battle (SPOILERS!)

The story of Ben Solo’s turn to the Dark Side… Deleted scene.

Exterior. Playground. A rap battle between C-3PO and Ben Solo is in progress

Your mother kissed your uncle
Did she do it with the Wookiee?
Everyone’s seen those bikini pics
Is that why sir played hookie?

Your dad can’t say “I love you”.
He’ll only say “I know“.
Still no reason to act out
This teenage tale of woe.

Swishing ’round that bright red sword
You’re full of so much rage.
Who will fix that damaged console?
Start acting like your age!

You are strong in the force, that’s clear,
But there is always someone stronger.
I could tell you how you’re related…
But that will wait a little longer.

 

C-3PO drops the mic, high fives R2-D2, and kicks BB-8 across the asphalt. End scene.

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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/rohit_saxena/23660346205

 

Can’t get enough of Star Wars? Here are my thoughts on The Force Awakens: https://altheauthor.wordpress.com/2015/12/30/the-force-awakens/ , and the previous films: https://altheauthor.wordpress.com/star-wars/

 

Haiku Challenge – Water & Bard cntd (poems)

Ronovan’s haiku prompt words this week were “water” and “Bard”. For my second batch of haiku – see also https://altheauthor.wordpress.com/2015/06/01/haiku-challenge-water-bard-poems/ – I have attempted to “improve” Shakespeare by bending that beautiful iambic pentameter into haiku form…

The Tragedies
To be, or not be
That is the only question
To melt my stone-heart

A woman would run
Through fire and water for
Such a kind, sweet heart

Be not afeard,
The isle’s full of noises.
Weep joyful tears.

The Comedies
Will Neptune’s ocean
Wash this blood clean from my hand?
Apparently not

Is this a dagger
Which I see before me now?
Sorry, my mistake

“When shall we three meet?
In thunder, lightning, or rain?”
“How about sunshine?”

Check out the other entries through Ronovan’s site: https://ronovanwrites.wordpress.com/2015/06/01/ronovanwrites-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-47-water-bard/

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Slugs on Broadway (poem)

I’m a low-down dreamer
My dreams are so big…
But if life is a tree
Then I’m just a twig

I want to make my mark
Not just leave a trail
Not be mistaken for
An ugly old snail

But I’m a slug, right
Don’t want no bug fight
Just want a hug to-night

I want to be a star
The only one to beat
Standing tall
On my own one feet

But I’m a slug, right
Don’t want no bug fight
Just want a hug to-night

I’m underneath this hedge
But dreaming of those nights
Sliming down the red carpet
With my name spelt out in lights

Cuz I’m a slug, right
Don’t want no bug fight
Just need a hug,
to
night

slug

“S is for… Star Wars Prayer” (poem)

Our Vader, who lost at Yavin,
Skywalker be thy name.

Thy New Hope come,
Thy Force Awakens:
Be a worthy episode seven.

Give us this day our daily Jedi
And forgive us our phantom menaces,
As we forgive those who quote Jar Jar against us.

Lead us not to the Dark Side,
But deliver us from Sith evil.

For the Force is the fandom,
The box office and the spin-offs,
For ever and ever.
Yoda

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