An Encounter In The Street (poem)

Walking home along the street
I met a man with cloven feet.
Staring at those mis-shaped toes
I bumped in to him, nose to nose.

“Oi!” he cried, “you stupid prat,
I’ve a mind to slug you, for that.”

I looked the fellow up and down,
All weedy limbs and surly frown,
And declared to him, “Do your worst,
I’ll squeeze your head until it bursts!”

The little man then laughed with glee,
“There’s more to me than you can see!
I was trying today to only do good…”
And he turned me into a slug, where I stood!

So if someone threatens to slug you,
As you’re walking down the street:
Before you slime off, feeling blue,
Deprived of the use of your feet…

The moral of this rhyming verse:
Check if they’re a boxer first.


Ghost Slug (poem)

Hiding underground
Creeping up at night
This is one night crawler
You wouldn’t want to fight

Ghost slug is its name
Ghostly are its features
It really is the creepiest
Of all the garden creatures!

Its teeth are razor sharp
(Good for chomping worms)
The slimy thought of it
Makes me want to squirm

No Scooby Doo villain:
But something very real
What’s that wriggling through your toes?
Try hard not to SQUEAL!


Picture courtesy of wikipedia… ghost slugs are real!

Slugs on Broadway (poem)

I’m a low-down dreamer
My dreams are so big…
But if life is a tree
Then I’m just a twig

I want to make my mark
Not just leave a trail
Not be mistaken for
An ugly old snail

But I’m a slug, right
Don’t want no bug fight
Just want a hug to-night

I want to be a star
The only one to beat
Standing tall
On my own one feet

But I’m a slug, right
Don’t want no bug fight
Just want a hug to-night

I’m underneath this hedge
But dreaming of those nights
Sliming down the red carpet
With my name spelt out in lights

Cuz I’m a slug, right
Don’t want no bug fight
Just need a hug,


Slug Poems

You were promised slug poems, and slug poems is what you’ve got! Two of them!

Slug Poem #1
A tired snail
Slimes for home across the lawn.
“I’m feeling slugg-ish

Slug poem #2
On a slow news day
In the ‘hood beneath the leaves

All is peaceful, still.
In this slimy den of thieves.

BANG! A shot rings out
Resounding through the ghetto

(It’s a salt rifle…
Deadly as a stiletto)

Mums weep slug tears
A young life stopped in its tracks

… Slug Life


Coming up…

I enjoyed taking part in the NaPoWriMo and A to Z Blog Challenge last month – it brought a bit of structure into this daydreaming poet’s life. In an attempt to recreate some of that structure, for the next few weeks (and maybe longer, if it works) I’m going to publish on the following topics:

MONDAY – Office poetry. Because us office drones need a bit of light relief

TUESDAY – Slug poetry. An under-represented area. Embrace your inner slug.

THURSDAY – “From Bad to Verse” – a short series of advice and useful links for those who are interested in writing rhyming picture books, based on my own experience

FRIDAY – Zombie poetry. Brains…. Brains…

So if any of this grabs your interest, please drop by and check them out, along with any other flights of fancy or whimsy that pop into my head while I’m staring out of the window at work. Hope you’ll join me 🙂