Carpe Diem

My old Latin teacher taught us
Carpe Diem. “Seize the day”…

What nonsense!
I don’t know what things were like in Latin times,
whether their concept of day was
different to ours
(Did you know they had no word for “blue”? I digress)

But the metaphysical notion of “seizing” in the sense of forcibly grasping and holding in one’s hands one full rotation around the Sun…

that’s beyond me.

No wonder the language died out.
No blue sky thinking.



Picture credit:


The Writer’s Life

The writer’s arc begins
Mewling at the teat
Feeding on those adverbs
Sucking iambic feet

It’s a tale that began once upon a time
Crying in vain for his momma
Plots play out, lessons are learned, there’s a surprising twist…
Then he slips into a comma


I haven’t pushed this much (not my style), but with the deadline nearing could I ask if you’d consider casting a vote for me in the “Funniest Blogger” category for the ABBAs (Annual Bloggers Bash Awards). It would be awfully spiffing of you. Thanks ever so!



A Writer, not a Fighter – Pt 2

As seems to be the rule of trilogies, this one is darker, more intense, than part one 🙂


It’s words that pay the writers’ bill…

This starts off fun, but goes downhill,

When books are pulped or in landfill

And critics only make you ill

Putting you beneath the grill

Making sure they get their fill

‘Cuz they’re the whale and you’re just


Tune in tomorrow for the concluding part of this epic (ie over-long) trilogy!


A Writer, not a Fighter – Pt 1

Show-offs swim,
Writers paddle.

Fiddlers fiddle,
Writers faddle.

Dancers twist,
Writers stick.

Conmen sell,
Writers trick.

Opticians blur,
Writers focus…

Maybe I’ll just have a quick look at Facebook…



Tune in tomorrow at the same time for more weak writing gags!


Picture credit:

The Snail In My Garden

There’s a snail in my garden
Hiding in its shell
I’m not sure where it’s been
It’s sometimes hard to tell

There is one thing that troubles me
And causes me some doubt.
The answer to this question:
Is it in or out?



OctPoWriMo #12 – Easy As… (poem)


Boundaries &


This is today’s contribution to OctPoWriMo – a challenge to write a poem a day during October. Today’s prompt was: Write a poem that is 26 lines. Each line begins with a different letter of the alphabet. A, B, C… as you can see, I haven’t exactly followed that approach!

You can sign up here, at any time during the month, or just check out the prompts and tips if you prefer –


Image by Morgan Dragonwillow

Haiku – “Oil”

This was written for TJ’s weekly haiku challenge. Check it out here!

I struggled with the prompt word this week, to be honest. I tried to write something on “black gold”, but it just felt trite, and I’ve never been one for oil of any type on a salad. I then remembered a management buzz phrase about doing things more efficiently, and came up with this effort…

A creaky door hinge,
Or a mouse frying some chips?
Get grease to the squeak!