Zombie Airwaves… Dead Air?

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to share this with you – it’s a podcast recording of an interview with the lovely Jo-Ann Carson, where she finds me in unusually talkative form! I go through a potted history of my writing journey so far, what inspired me to start writing, and my top tips (such as they are) for any aspiring and emerging writers … I also give a performance of some of my poems, including ZombieLife…

I’d love it if you checked it out, shared on social media, told your granny about it… all that good stuff! 🙂

https://www.bloodsweatandwords.com/bsw-024-zombie-poetry-thrillers-al-lane-mark-oneill-20190205/

Copies of Haiku of the Dead are available through amazon on the links below. A perfect Valentines gift for the man in your life… just saying!

UK – https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07K1Q8MKY

US – https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07K1Q8MKY

 

haiku of the dead cover pic

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The Shambling Undead Tour…!

I’ve got lots of things in the pipeline, including a couple of forthcoming podcast appearances, but I’ve also arranged to get myself out there to promote my book in the next few months… so if you are near any of these towns and cities, and fancy checking it out, then please come along! More will be announced for April and May in due course… lots of poeting miles to be clocked up this year! Hope to see you there 🙂

Copies of Haiku of the Dead can be purchased through amazon globally, including:

UK – https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07K1Q8MKY

US – https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07K1Q8MKY

the zombie cometh...

Keeping it social…

Happy New Year everyone!

I’ve got some big plans for this year, and am going through some of the admin pain of putting those in motion at the moment… more details to follow when it gets more interesting! 2018 saw me publish not one but two books, headline my first poetry events, and perform at a host of wonderful events, in fields, barns, cellars, pubs and caves. Expect 2019 to have even more of this, but spreading my wings further afield from my home town of Nottingham. I don’t believe in resolutions, but if I wanted to describe my plans for 2019 in a single word, it would be…”BIGGER!”

Onwards, and hopefully upwards…

I’ve just started using the Instagram account I’ve had for a while, so thought this would be a good time to signpost to some of my social media links, for those who are interested.

You can find me all over!
https://www.facebook.com/AlistairLaneWrites/
https://twitter.com/AlistairLane
https://www.instagram.com/lane.alistair/
Or on youtube

Haiku of the Dead, the essential guide to surviving the rise of the zombies in glorious technicolor haiku with dollops of humour, is available globally from amazon – just amend the specific amazon bit of the web address in the links below if you’re not in the UK or US, or search for Alistair Lane (there’s only one of me, it seems!):
UK – https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07K1Q8MKY
US – https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07K1Q8MKY

And if you hate amazon, but are desperate to prepare yourself for Z-Day, drop me an email and I’ll arrange something for you… I’ll leave no blogger behind!

So if you had to describe your goals/plans/aims for 2019 in one word, what word would you use? Let me know below!

HOTD 2019 poster

Zombie Zombie Zombie!

Yes, that’s right, Halloween’s coming, so it’s time to talk zombies… And the value for money in this post is incredible. Not one, but two, yes a whole two!, zombie items to share!

First up is a plug… long time readers may remember an A to Z challenge I completed some time ago, on the theme of surviving the zombie holocaust…in haiku form… Well, I’ve written a bunch of new ones and collected them all together, and will be publishing these on Amazon IMMINENTLY (ie when I get a spare few hours in the next week) as … THE HAIKU OF THE DEAD….

Here’s the cover reveal, for those who like that sort of thing…

haiku of the dead cover pic

And to whet your appetite for all things zombie, here is a NEW zombie poem. Over a few drinks in a bar, I joked to some fellow poets that most of my stuff in my first collection was either about cats or zombies… so they challenged me to write about zombie cats… This was the result. I hope you like it. 🙂

Zombie Pet Store

Went down to the zombie pet store
To pick myself a pet
(There’s not the widest choice of these,
So you take what you can get)

A zombie goldfish seemed too lame:
I wanted something cooler!
Some creature that could scare my sis,
Lure her in and fool her…

A zombie guinea pig could be fun
With their amped-up feral nature.
As long as it’s fed some daily flesh,
It’s never gonna hate ya…

Or a zombie hamster spinning ‘round
Within its blood-stained wheel?
Perhaps a zombie bunny
Trying to make you its next meal?

Zombie dogs are a big no-go:
Too strong to be man’s best friend.
Even with a muzzle on,
Spot will eat you, in the end.

But zombie cats? That’s where it’s at,
On this, can we agree?
They’ve the same sense of superiority
And indifference to humanity

Although the purring and the miaowing
Is now more like …growling
After brutal night-time killing sprees,
There’s the same old midnight howling!

So, it’s time to make your choice:
Buying a zom-pet is no game.
But whether a cat’s alive or undead,
Its behaviour’s just the same!

ZombieLife

I was born a bonny zombie baby
It’s the only life I’ve known
But years and moons have passed since then
How I’ve zombie-grown!

Growing up sure ain’t easy
Juicy brains don’t come for free
And there’s no chance those screaming humans
Will ever let me be!

See, I’ve never craved attention
I just want an axe-free life
Somewhere peaceful in the country
Where I can find a loving, kind, decaying wife

I never knew my zombie father
Spent no childhood catching ball
No mother there to catch me
When rotting limbs would fall

And I don’t know if you’ve noticed
But zombie role models are lacking
We’re just used in films to show off
The hero’s muscles as they’re hacking

And don’t you see the irony
In claiming we love brains
Then trying to bash our heads in.
It’s prejudice ingrained!

I don’t wanna fight you.
Set aside your sword.
Quit swinging that bloody baseball bat.
Let’s sit, and have a word.

I know my tongue’s necrotic
But there’s a message ‘neath my growling
If only you would listen, really listen,
We could end this midnight prowling

Our demands are very few:
Just leave us all alone,
In basements, malls or graveyards,
Where we can rot and roam.

We’re the next step in evolution:
These are Darwinian growing pains.
We don’t want to harm you

We just want to eat your brains!

 

Z

 

A Halloween poem – deconstructed

Trying to write a scary poem
To get things off my chest.
So many ways to start,
I wonder which is best.

Do I go for ghoulish,
Or something more refined?
Do I make the horror clear,
Or leave it to the mind?

Then there comes the rhyming
Of all those scary creatures.
Zombie? Vampire? No rhymes.
Do I focus on their features?

And how to make things scary,
In the structure of the rhyme?
It’s hard to make the reader jump
When they can guess ahead in time.

Maybe I should back off.
Leave this one to the writers.
Poets are tender lovers
But terrible monster fighters!

halloween2