A Halloween poem – deconstructed

Trying to write a scary poem
To get things off my chest.
So many ways to start,
I wonder which is best.

Do I go for ghoulish,
Or something more refined?
Do I make the horror clear,
Or leave it to the mind?

Then there comes the rhyming
Of all those scary creatures.
Zombie? Vampire? No rhymes.
Do I focus on their features?

And how to make things scary,
In the structure of the rhyme?
It’s hard to make the reader jump
When they can guess ahead in time.

Maybe I should back off.
Leave this one to the writers.
Poets are tender lovers
But terrible monster fighters!

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99-word story – My Zombie Valentine

Rick fired his final bullets into the horde, but slipped awkwardly on a pool of guts, warm in the midday sun. No escape this time. The zombies overpowered him, tearing flesh from his bones, utterly devouring him.

Two zombies grabbed at his still-twitching arm from opposite sides, driven by The Hunger. In the moment before they sank their yellow, flesh-stained teeth into a succulent human meal, their aqueous eyes met, sparked. All of the thrashing and wailing disappeared in that moment. This crazy world stood still. Inside, two necrotic hearts remembered a beat.

It was love at first bite.

 

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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/mrseb/6320652409

99 word story – Zombie Forks 2

Luke flailed wildly against the fresh zombie. Weakened by hunger, he didn’t even have a weapon this time. Heart thumping, he backed up, heading for the kitchen – searching for a knife, anything… nothing. No knife block. Cutlery drawer?

He grabbed the first metallic item and swung, eyes closed, at the zombie’s head. It speared in through its ear. The zombie dropped to the floor, inanimate again.

Steve burst into the room with his club. “You ok?” He took one look at the scene and burst out laughing. “Use the forks, Luke!”

Luke dropped to his knees, sobbing, utterly drained.

—-

This is the second one today from my friend Sandra’s “zombie – fork” prompt 🙂 Apologies to all the nice Steves out there. A couple of them have done you a real disservice!

 

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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/albercik/3066168639

99 word story – Zombie Forks 1

“Do you know what I hate about zombies? Obviously, apart from the whole undead-risen-eating-my-friends thing?” Steve was in full flow, playing to the crowd (of one).
Not again. Faith sighed, eyes on the road. If I ignore him, will he shut up?
“No manners. No pretty please or thank yous. They never wait in line. They don’t even use knives and forks, let alone napkins!”
Faith lined up the approaching zombie in her sights, whispered “Excuse me!”, and splattered its brains across the asphalt. She didn’t know what was worse.
An eternity of this, or another day with him.
—–
Written for my friend Sandra, who sort of prompted me to write using the prompts “zombie” and “fork”… I actually wrote two! So, if anyone else has some burning idea for a story or a prompt, feel free to lob them at this chimp like a banana!
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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/cipion/14919716673

Brevity is the soul of wit… 1

While checking out Graeme Sandford’s blog, he made me realise that I had done nothing to mark Shakespeare’s 400th anniversary. (Graeme even has a poetry book coming out about it – check it out! https://graemesandford.com/2016/05/14/bardly-writ-the-book/ ) So, to make amends for this oversight, here are some Shakespearean lines that have survived 400-plus years, mangled here for cheap laughs and entertainment. It’s what the Bard himself would have wanted…

#1
Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
In fact, just stay out of my stuff.

#2
What a piece of work is a man!
Well, most of them.

#3
There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
Said no one who ever stood in dog mess

#4
Friends, Romans, country men – lend me your ears.
Mine aren’t working too well. Age…

#5
Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.
Management 101

#6
Who steals my purse steals trash.
It just has a bunch of receipts and an old credit card in it. Plus that contraceptive from 1997…

#7 – the obligatory zombie reference...
Zombie Shakespeare said to thee,
Life for me is “not to be”

Almost certainly more to follow!

 

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Would Shakespeare approve?

Z is for…

Drum roll please… It’s Day 26 of your Essential Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse… Now let’s blow this thing and go home…

I will be collating the best of these guides, plus a bunch of new material, into my first self-published book… just as soon as I (a) get some sleep; (b) figure out how to do that in a way that I’m proud of…!

For now, a huge thank you to everyone for following, commenting and liking these bizarre outpourings of my brain over this past month. I hope you stay with me for whatever comes next on here. If you have any suggestions for what you want to see next (themes for mini-challenges, perhaps? random prompts? a challenge to use your favourite word in a haiku?), let me know in the comments!

It’s … Haiku of the Dead!

(Here’s an irony for you – one of the reasons I chose to write about zombies for a whole month, other than being (a) obsessed with them, and (b) the sort of person to prepare others for the horrors of what’s coming – a leader, if you will – was to make the notoriously tricky “z” post easy… and yet now I’m here, I’m running on fumes and it seems anything but easy!)

Zombie, Zack, or Zed,
Undead, Flesh Eaters, Biters…
It’s all the same thing

Post-Zed baby boom.
Zombie aphrodisiac,
Or something deeper?

(Sexy zombie girl
Unblinking eyes a-popping
Groaning just for me)

Change your perspective:
Laugh at their slapstick lumb’ring,
And their zany ways!

I have some questions:
Do teen zombies‘ voices drop,
Sprout hair, and get zits?

In 2050,
Will the survivors queue up
At the zombie zoo?

 

Z

“You wrote this as part of a month-long challenge? What?!”

Throughout April, I have been taking part in the A to Z Challenge, posting six days a week to cover each letter of the alphabet… For my theme, I have gone down the well-trodden, stereotypical, bit-of-a-cliché -really path of zombie survival tips… in haiku.

There are hundreds of blogs participating – over 1700. I will be doing my best to check out as many of these as possible. You can too via this link: http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/a-z-challenge-sign-up-list-2016.html

Y is for … (2 of 2)

Yesterday, the world was young,
Then everything got turned
Mother Nature got her payback
On lessons never learned

Last week, the world was young
I’ve been running ever since
All those friends lost that way
Memories make me wince

Last month, the world was young
It seems so far away
Foraging for lifelines
Surviving day by day

Last year, the world was young
And I have grown so old
The horrors of the world reborn
Innocence bought and sold

I remember when the world was young,
Full of hope and love, and free
One day it may be young again
Our humanity holds the key

 

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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/michaeldavid/65161198

Y is for… (1 of 2)

Day 25 of your Essential Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse… The fat lady’s gargling whisky, warming up her vocal chords…

I will be collating the best of these guides, plus a bunch of new material, into my first self-published book… just as soon as I (a) get to the end of this month; (b) sleep; (c) figure out how to do that in a way that I’m proud of…!

It’s … Haiku of the Dead!

It’s all about you.
Unite, survive and rebuild.
You carry the flame

Technically, you could
Use a yo-yo to fight Zed…
Not recommended!

Yin-yang:
Humans kill zombies,
Die, and are reborn, undead,
To feed on living

One cannot exist
Without the other, balanced,
Complementary

How will folks waste time
Watching hours of daft cats
Without youtube vids?

 

Y

“You wrote this as part of a month-long challenge? What?!”

Throughout April, I will be joining the A to Z Challenge, posting six days a week to cover each letter of the alphabet… even that annoying “X”… For my theme, I have gone down the well-trodden, stereotypical, bit-of-a-cliché -really path of zombie survival tips… in haiku.

With tongue firmly in cheek, I hope you will join me for the month, and beyond 🙂

There are hundreds of blogs participating – over 1700. I will be doing my best to check out as many of these as possible. You can too via this link: http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/a-z-challenge-sign-up-list-2016.html

X is for…

Day 24 of your Essential Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse… The end’s in sight…

You will no doubt be absolutely thrilled that I plan on collating these guides, along with some extras, into my first self-published book! Watch this space. Well, not literally this one as I’m unlikely to come back and add comments specifically here, but, you know, here. 🙂 

Without further ado, it’s … Haiku of the Dead!

Xenophobia
Persists – it’s in our nature –
But borders have shrunk

To survive, you need:
The brains of Professor X
And the X Factor

(Being candid here,
I welcome these zombie days
If it means an end

To bland TV shows
Full of so-samey singers
Each on a “journey”)

Have you ever tried
Thwacking Zed with xylophone?
Not recommended!

 

X

“You wrote this as part of a month-long challenge? What?!”

Throughout April, I will be joining the A to Z Challenge, posting six days a week to cover each letter of the alphabet… even that annoying “X”… For my theme, I have gone down the well-trodden, stereotypical, bit-of-a-cliché -really path of zombie survival tips… in haiku.

With tongue firmly in cheek, I hope you will join me for the month, and beyond 🙂

There are hundreds of blogs participating – over 1700. I will be doing my best to check out as many of these as possible. You can too via this link: http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/a-z-challenge-sign-up-list-2016.html

W is for…

Day 23 of your Essential Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse… The end’s in sight…

You will no doubt be absolutely thrilled that I plan on collating these guides, along with some extras, into my first self-published book! Watch this space. Well, not literally this one as I’m unlikely to come back and add comments specifically here, but, you know, here. 🙂 

Without further ado, it’s … Haiku of the Dead!

Water wells
Far more valuable
Than diamonds

Hide behind tall walls
Barricade the walkers out…
Beware foes within

The whole world is lost
Virus spread to all corners
No island is safe

The weather’s crucial.
Crops and fruit will need water,
Warmth, and some sunshine

Too much rain will flood.
Too much sun will cause a drought.
Too cold and crops die.

If it’s really cold
The zombie threat disappears:
They will simply freeze

Waste isn’t sexy
But you need to consider
Proper disposal

Written word dying
Spoken word storytellers
A fireside hit!

There’s no use waiting,
Wishing and wanting “better”.
The power’s in you.

 

W

“You wrote this as part of a month-long challenge? What?!”

Throughout April, I will be joining the A to Z Challenge, posting six days a week to cover each letter of the alphabet… even that annoying “X”… For my theme, I have gone down the well-trodden, stereotypical, bit-of-a-cliché -really path of zombie survival tips… in haiku.

With tongue firmly in cheek, I hope you will join me for the month, and beyond 🙂

There are hundreds of blogs participating – over 1700. I will be doing my best to check out as many of these as possible. You can too via this link: http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/a-z-challenge-sign-up-list-2016.html