I “wrote” this for my three-year old… I thought some of you may enjoy it too. There is no pretence of high art here!
Everybody Farts (with apologies to R.E.M.)
When your meal is long
And dessert, the dessert is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this meal, well hold on
Don’t think of letting one go
‘Cause everybody lies
And everybody farts… sometimes
Sometimes you feel gassy and all wrong
Well it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting one go (Hold on)
If you think you’ve had too much
Of this meal, well hold on
Everybody farts
Take comfort in that fact
Everybody farts
Don’t throw it from your hand, oh no
Don’t throw it from your hand
If you think that you’re alone
No, no, no, you are not alone
(what would they think?)
Well, everybody farts sometimes
Everybody lies
Everybody farts sometimes
And everybody farts sometimes
Don’t hold on, hold on
Don’t hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody farts
Photo credit: flickr.com/photos/zoliblog/3277272645
Did you just ruin a beautiful haunting song for me? 😛
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Sorry… Or, you could say I’ve diversified it to a younger audience? 🙂
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Love it! I wonder if I can persuade my girls to sing it…
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Once they start, they may not stop!
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Justin, my 3 1/2 year old grandson, has a new favorite word lately and it’s poop. Potty humor is always funny, apparently 🙂 And you got a blog post and entertained the child at the same time, so well worth it and well done!
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Some of us never grow out of potty humor, as you can see today!
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Reminds me of the whirlpool bath in he local gym.
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That’s right, blame the whirlpool!
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To be sung to the tune of The Red Flag: “We’ll keep the whirlpool whirling round.”
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Haha! 😀
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Perfect for a stinky Monday! And screw REM if they can’t take a joke! 😂😂😂
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Hope your Monday becomes less stinky, one way or the other!
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Ha! I’m sure it will!
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At least open a window in there 😉
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Ugh, its so hot and humid here, it might make things worse. I’ll just have to run for it!
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It’s the only way to be sure!
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😀
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Ha ha. Kids will keep you young, Al. You have at least another 8 more years of fart fun ahead of you.
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I suspect longer 😀
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Ha ha. Probably 🙂 It’s all fun.
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Life’s too short not to have fun 🙂
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You missed your vocation… somewhere far far away
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I used to be a bingo caller. I was good at that!
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Dogs everywhere, are singing your praises… you have freed them from malicious accusery!
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If it’s malicious, then why do they always look so guilty, hmm? 🙂
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Cats have trained them well!
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Haha! Cats rule the earth. They know it. Some of us humans even realise it too!
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Brilliant! R.E.M. would be mightily pleased!
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Haha! I somehow doubt it, but thanks! 🙂
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I’m going to assume I’m not the only weirdo who sang this instead of reading. Where’s the audio? 😀
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Haha! No one deserves the punishment of my singing. Just ask my kids!
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I’ll give Michael Stipe a call so he can help out… 🙂
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He can do backing vocals for me 🙂
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Okay. I will tell him. I think he’ll be cool with that. 🙂
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Totally. Robin to my Batman 🙂
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Ha!
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😀
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No, I am a weirdo too! I sang it 🙂
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I know plenty of 3-83 year olds who would enjoy this 😂
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Toilet humour crosses age boundaries… works with anyone who refuses to grow up!
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Lol! Perfect! I also sang along(in my head) 😝😂
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That’s how I wrote it! 🙂
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And is your 3-yr-old completely enamored with it?
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Honestly, no… maybe he will after a dozen more renditions though!
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Yes! Keep singing it! 😀
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The 3 year old’s in bed now, so I’ve got no excuse! (Some may suspect I didn’t really need one anyway 🙂
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Now who would suspect that? 😛
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Haha!
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Haha brilliant.
The thought of Stipe, The Sour Faced, (his unofficial title) belting out the song with the altered lyrics is…incredible.
Also, throwing farts with the hand is difficult.
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Just imagine Sourpuss Stipe throwing farts…
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I’m trying not to, but the image is there now..
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It does explain his on-stage dancing “style”
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HaHA! A new take on a classic song which will certainly win over a certain audience! 🙂
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But only a “certain” audience, I’m guessing! 🙂
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This is just adorable!
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Thanks Oloriel! 🙂
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Bravo
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A cheap laugh is still a laugh, right? 🙂
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Hahahaha! I wish I’d read this before I started working. Lol. Perfect👏🏻👏🏻
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😀
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Fartingly Fabulous Fun, Al! I’m staying off the Fruit and Fibre for a day or two I don’t want to upset your bathers!
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Haha! You sometimes can’t beat a basic fart joke 🙂
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Stop winding me up! Ha ha!!
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Haha! 😀
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This absolutely blew me away!!!!! And, yes, I sang it too.
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Haha! It demands to be sung! 🙂
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good one!
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