The Dirty Dozen – Jenny Green!


As part of #ComedyBookWeek, I’ve lined up some of the freshest, funniest writers around, and subjected them each to the Dirty Dozen treatment.

Today, it’s the turn of Jenny Green to take the Dirty Dozen hotseat!

You can check out the interview in full HERE ! 🙂



The Dirty Dozen – Abby Vegas!


As part of #ComedyBookWeek, I’ve lined up some of the freshest, funniest writers around, and subjected them each to the Dirty Dozen treatment.

Today, it’s the turn of the wonderfully-named Abby Vegas to take the hotseat!

Read the full interview HERE!



Coming Soon – Comedy Book Week!

Need a laugh? Stick around…

#ComedyBookWeek is an annual, online celebration of humor in writing. It is a free event, and all writers, readers, and book bloggers interested in funny books are welcome. There are a bunch of events lined up, including a whole week of Dirty Dozen interviews on my main site –

#ComedyBookWeek runs from 16th to 23rd July. The full events calendar is here:

On my site, you can look forward to the following Dirty Dozens:

Sat 16th July – Steve Vernon

Mon 18th July – Freya of Freyawrites

Weds 20th July – Abby Vegas

Fri 22nd July – Jenny Green

Sat 23rd July – Geoff Le Pard

Hope you check back in and join us. Laughs guaranteed!*

(*Disclaimer – laughs not guaranteed :-P)



The Writer’s Life

The writer’s arc begins
Mewling at the teat
Feeding on those adverbs
Sucking iambic feet

It’s a tale that began once upon a time
Crying in vain for his momma
Plots play out, lessons are learned, there’s a surprising twist…
Then he slips into a comma


I haven’t pushed this much (not my style), but with the deadline nearing could I ask if you’d consider casting a vote for me in the “Funniest Blogger” category for the ABBAs (Annual Bloggers Bash Awards). It would be awfully spiffing of you. Thanks ever so!



Limerick – Plonker

Welcome to Limerick Mondays! By coincidence, the timing for a couple of prompt competitions falls well with starting the week with a bit of a smile… more limericks to come later today 🙂 This one’s for Esther Newton’s weekly challenge

In England, there’s a bit of a craze
For saying insults in different ways
From plonker to prat to poultroon
Then pilchard to blue-arsed baboon…
Tell me, what’s your favourite phrase?



Picture credit:

Jonny From 9B

I’ve done another voice recording to go with this one HERE

Never got on wi’ Shakespeare
Byron did nowt fa me
The only poet that I like is
Jonny from 9B

Sassoon sounds like a baboon
Wordsworth’s too wordy, you see
Nun a them ‘owds a candle
To Jonny from 9B

Coleridge couldn’t rime (or spell)
Rosen and Carroll ain’t fa me
Nun a them’s a patch
On Jonny from 9B

Dylan Thomas? Dad prefers Bob.
Larkin? Hughes? Big whoopee!
Nun a them’s fit to ‘owd a pencil
For Jonny from 9B

For Jonny’s a proper poet –
‘e makes sure all ‘is lines rhyme
Not just now an’ then
But time after time (after time)

‘e don’t bang on about love
An’ all that mushy stuff –
‘e tells us tales of scoring goals,
Playing pranks an’ acting tough.

All the teachers ‘ate ‘im
But Jonny – ‘e don’t care.
The playground’s ‘is stage
Telling tales wi’ style an’ flair

An’ for a precious few
Beneath that willow tree
A thousand dreams are dreamed
Through Jonny from 9B



Picture credit:

Note for non-UK readers – “9B” refers to the year and class that he is in – Jonny would be 13 or 14 years old.

Brevity is the soul of wit… 1

While checking out Graeme Sandford’s blog, he made me realise that I had done nothing to mark Shakespeare’s 400th anniversary. (Graeme even has a poetry book coming out about it – check it out! ) So, to make amends for this oversight, here are some Shakespearean lines that have survived 400-plus years, mangled here for cheap laughs and entertainment. It’s what the Bard himself would have wanted…

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
In fact, just stay out of my stuff.

What a piece of work is a man!
Well, most of them.

There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
Said no one who ever stood in dog mess

Friends, Romans, country men – lend me your ears.
Mine aren’t working too well. Age…

Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.
Management 101

Who steals my purse steals trash.
It just has a bunch of receipts and an old credit card in it. Plus that contraceptive from 1997…

#7 – the obligatory zombie reference...
Zombie Shakespeare said to thee,
Life for me is “not to be”

Almost certainly more to follow!



Would Shakespeare approve?

National Limerick Day!

My friend Annette posted a few days back about National Limerick Day, hoping for me to join in… well, I’m not one to disappoint!

I love limericks. Hopefully this will inspire you to try one too 🙂

Some say the secret, or trick,
To writing a great limerick
Is keeping rhythm and rhyme
Simply sublime
And some humour gives it a kick!

Limericks can be used for a variety of styles, from the serious:

A man walking alongside the road
Was stewing on what he was owed
He looked to the skies
With tears in his eyes
For the mind bears the heaviest load

To the “clever”… this explains enjambment:

Running words from one line to next
Is a challenge that’s leaving me vexed
It’s so hard to do
Right, it’s making me blue
Next time I’ll stick to free text!

To the creepy:

Within the wood so dark and deep
Where no spider dares to creep
The air is silent; deathly still:
There is a purple daffodil
That holds the key to “beauty’s” sleep…

To a selfie:

A dashing young chap named Al
Was searching for life’s rationale
He found it through rhyming
(And occasional timing)
Claiming “it’s good for morale”!

To the more “adult” humour…

A peculiar space-thing from Venus
Had an incredible penis
When he rolled out his schlong
It was thirty feet long…
But the sight of it resulted in green-ness!

So, the moral of the story is… just give it a go!

Even if not a poeting Brit
There’s a limerick that surely will fit
Whatever your mood,
Quiet or rude
And it may be the best ever writ!

I’d love to hear your limericks (or links to them) in the comments. What’ve you got to lose? 😀



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